vegkiarusitas!

I've spent most of today contemplating my future, seems like I don't have many choices. I don't think I can survive on JA, I wouldn't want to, I don't like relying on others. The other thing is, I'm constantly aware that not everyone has the same cultural capital that I do, I'd feel like I was mocking these people if I took it for granted. Anyway, what kind of anarchist lives off state hand outs? Sooo... I'm considering just buying and selling shit on ebay to supplement a part time job. Its all money though innit, and it is all still exploitation. Makes me feel ill, makes me feel like I just want to hit the road and keep on going until I don't have to pretend to care about numbers and productivity. Thing is, I can't hack 9-5 work. In fact, I can't really deal with work at all unless it is work towards something that feels like its kinda authentic and positive and real. Work for the sake of work just makes me ask questions. Then I get into arguments.

Seems like maybe most work is based on humiliation, I feel humiliated at work anyway. Those who best internalise the humiliation do prety well for themselves and those that ruin the illusion get the sack. The bosses aren't there to work, they are there to maintain the illusion, there IS a team, we ARE doing something important and constructive. If you humiliate the bosses, you totally destroy the illusion, I guess thats my problem... Maybe i'm just an obnoxious little middle class prick that is too lazy to do anything for himself. I hope not.

Sorry this is hardly Down and Out in Paris and London but hey, I had to rant.